What is the most inappropriate experience you have had with a friend's daughter?

But I do regret not being mature and intelligent enough to deal with it better and avoid upsetting her, and then missing a full month with her.

I said it was also cause I loved her like a little sister and didn’t want her hurt in any way.

She made me swear and promise. I did.

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Was our ‘relationship’ really INAPPROPRIATE ???

Especially another month later when her parents told everyone at church about her cancer diagnosis.

Her death wreaked havoc in her family as well. Her mom and dad divorced 2 years later and moved away with her younger brothers.

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I really couldn’t understand why she would ask ME to do that with her. WHY ME ??

I cried like a baby at her grave. And I was so mad at the world. I still have a hard heart about her being taken so young.

We talked about casual normal stuff, and she brought up the dance and how much fun she had.

Hi everybody! I have been looking at posts on narcs and narc abuse on here and if has really helped me out a lot. I am currently struggling with my situation and need some advice/support. I met a narc last year, everything seemed to good to be true. Love bombing, always texting calling and taking me on dates. Everything changed when someone warned me about him out in public in front of him and who he is. This caused a conflict with us and the love bombing seized. he would tell me that everything is okay and i can come and talk. He would set a time limit on me and kick me out after that. he would then text me like everything was fine and we hung out again and after that he completely ghosted me for one week. He came back and texted me a week later laughing about the ghosting and acting like nothing had happened. he continued to text me ( not like in the beginning) make plans with me, then on the day of the plans he would just ghost me. One day he would act interested the next silence. i contacted him a month later and he acted like nothing happened. He was on a vacation and sent me a picture of another woman ( someone he allegedly met on the trip) to strike a reaction but i never gave him one. After the trip he came to my place and was extremely rude, accusing me of going on dates with a bunch of men. The next day he accused me of being an alcoholic and that he wanted nothing to do with me but said well maybe we can be "friends" then ghosted me i assumed at this point it was over and i would never hear from him again. He contacted me on the holiday a month later acting like everything was great. We ended up hanging out a month or so later and when we hung out it went well, i thought things were going in the right direction. after we hung out.. silence. I would try to text him and if he replied it would be very short then he just stopped replying. He ghosted me for almost three months. I thought he was done this time and of course he popped up again like nothing happened. At this point i was getting sick of if so i questioned him as to why he dissapeared and always does this. Of course he had some sob story about a injury and family member dying of cancer. I felt pity for him and he gave me an apology.. so i took him back stupidly. things seemed to be going smooth for a couple months, of course until his family member died and his injury got better he never contacted me and was distant. Menawhile, i was there for him during the difficult time for him. He lied to me about the funeral and never wanted to chat. I was chasing him and he would always claim nothing was wrong but when i said i thought he used me when he was down he could not handle it and would always tell me he didnt care and to go away. I would get so upset i would try texting him to work it out he would barelt respond and if he did he would not be nice about it. we did hang out a couple times after that, he would ignore me after. One day i was like hey i think you are seeing someone else, and i was like well ixam seeing someone so no problem if you are he said " buy bye good luck with your new guy stop contacting me" i was devastated and tried to get into contact with him for weeks then i just gave up and accepted it was over. He ended up contacting me a month later acting like everything was fine. He wanted to go out and have drinks i told him i would. He and i both seemed to have a great time. He ends up ignoring me again. I kept texting him trying to figure out what was wrong. He kept saying everything was fine and i said ok can we hang out again? He said maybe i was like why? He just kept saying maybe … our last conversation we had… i said what is wrong ? He said nothing is wrong everything is fine. I asked him why he keeps saying maybe. He said " maybe but i dont want to see you right now" i said why? He saix " im just not feeling it, if i wanted to date i would" i said why did you contact me less then a week ago wanting to go out? He said i didnt.. even though he did. So i said should i just move on or what? He said whatever you want to do. So i said that he was really confusing me and asked him if he had anything more to say before i move on? My messages were turning green so i panicked he blocked me and reacted irrationally. I said " omg did you block me? My messages are not going through. Even texted him on my work phone asking what was up. And called him twice ( please dont judge me i know it is pathetic i never was this type of girl before him) so he replied and said " Ok I'll block you now" then immedietly blocked me. He has never blocked me before since I have met him he will just ghost. Is this ths final discard aka " grand finale? Did i just push him too far? this has upset me so much its hard to even function.

After her 14th birthday party, she came over to me and asked if we could talk. In private.

My friend helped me understand better what she was going through mentally, and I came away understanding that when she had asked me to do such a naughty thing with her she probably just wanted to ‘experience life’ and do things that she maybe wouldn’t get to do later in life.

We would hold hands and ‘cuddle’, and I even let her kiss me when she wanted to. But the main thing we would do is sit with me holding and hugging her, mostly at her house watching TV with her family.

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Why was she even wanting to do such a thing?? Especially with me. And more especially at her age. It made no sense.

The world is a much more horrible place without her in it.

At least he said stuff when he was home… He worked a lot more and was gone a lot more now than before. I figured out that he was going half crazy over the situation and not dealing with it well.

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I think her mom really understood why I spent so much time with her, and was glad I kept her mind off things. And maybe I even brought her happiness.

A week later I told her that I had thought about it. I told her I didn’t think she and I should be doing anything like that due to the age thing. I explained she should wait til she was older and maybe do that with her husband, or at least a guy she was dating or in love with.

I don’t regret turning down her offer. She wasn’t mentally ‘straight’ enough to even make a decision like that. Lord knows what she was going through in her head.

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It unnerved me terribly. I was in shock, but stammered out that I’d think about it. It was the only thing I could think to say.

We went for a short walk around the complex.

When we got to the corner and turned to head back, she stopped and asked if she could ask me about something without me ever telling her parents.

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She begged a little, but I said no. I even joked that her dad would kill me if he found out.

I “dated” his 14-year-old daughter when I was 18/19.

We even had a few “dates”, almost like she had asked me. (Just without the sex part.) And I actually enjoyed the putt-putt golf and movies and stuff we did together.

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Her dad just made jokes about how he was gonna feel really weird if I got married to his daughter in a few years, and stuff like that. He rarely said anything about her illness that wasn’t about “when she gets better.”

A few months later her dad asked if I’d be willing to take her to a dance. I did.

Inappropriate but understandable…

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I said sure.

I found out the following month what was really going on, and it still hurts me today, almost 40 years later.

I spent a lot more time with her after I was finally told.

My parents force me (15yo atheist) to go to church, and there’s this thing called Small Sundays where we discuss the Bible in groups, there are questions asked about the Bible. What am I supposed to do when they ask?

She even held my hand after a short distance, and I let her, thinking nothing of it except I was flattered and that it was cute.

When I asked what she meant by that, she told me she heard her mom and dad talking about me and my dates and knew what they were saying. She said she wanted us to ‘go parking’ and ‘have sex’. And she said she knew what she was saying, had thought about it a lot, and had decided that she wanted her first time to be with me.

He worked offshore, so somehow I got asked to escort her to a ‘father/daughter’ banquet. I did.

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At 18 I was friends with an older couple from church. Their oldest kid, a daughter, was 13.

When we got back to her house she went to her room and didn’t come out the rest of the time I was there. Her mom checked on her before I left, and just came back and told her dad she was crying. But they didn’t seem too worried about it.

I would delete it but I already wrote it and don’t like wasting efforts.

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Imagine my shock when she said that she wanted to go on a ‘real date’ with me, and that she wanted me to treat her just like I had my other girlfriends.

I told a close and trusted older friend about what she had wanted me to do with her a few years later. She put it all into perspective for me really easy. I felt a little stupid it wasn’t obvious to me.

Maybe it’s cause I just wish I had another chance to see her, and am confessing my guilt about not being able to save her.

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She was really hurt, and wouldn’t speak to me for a month. Even actively avoided me.

She only made it 2 weeks past her 15th birthday party, and she was too weak and sick to really enjoy that.

And It would have been inappropriate no matter her circumstances, as I was barely shy of 19.

We had repaired our relationship. She began to talk to me and even almost returned to how we were before, and I was glad.

She fought hard, did all the right treatments. But she never had a sweet 16 party.

Sorry people. I don’t know why I even shared that here this morning.

I eventually told her mom about what she had asked me and had wanted us to do, after a few months. She just laughed and hugged me, and told me I handled it really well. Then she cried on my shoulder and told me she had no idea how to relate to what her daughter must be thinking or feeling.

I neither know or care.

She had fun at the events, and I didn’t feel too weird about doing it.